Mak Yang Pekak Badak

Al-kisahnya mak tengah dok tunggu bas nak balik rumah setelah pulang dari Germany tadi. Long story about how I eventually got to Cambridge after 40 minutes National Express coach delayed (macam siyal hanjeng haramzada!). Patutlaaa nobody uses public transport these days sebab servis macam sengal!

Anyway, masa dok tunggu bas tu, mak ternampak ada sorang abang gagak also dok tengah tunggu bas and it turned out, he's also waiting for the same bus. Tapi destinasi dia je lain, uolzzz...

So we got talking and actually he's in Cambridge area just for 5 days sebab ada tugasan khas katanya. Tugasan apa tu mak dinch hoi lah kalau dia cakap betoi ke idak.. jangan tugasan nak merampok menipu dan mengswindle wang kitorang udahler!!! **matilaa stereotipikal sangat mak nieh!

Masa dok bercakap ni memang mak banyak dinch faham apa ke benda yang dia dok brok brek brok brek kan. Dengan accent aprika nyer tu..aiyoooooo asik asik amk kena cakap "excuse me" sokmo!!! **matilaa Marjorie Dawes Little Britain ittew!
So dia ada tanya mak asal mana. So mak cakaplah Malaysia. Of course mak tanyalah dia balik "So, where are you from?"

"Holland" katanya "but born in Nigeria"

Ooo orang Nigeria duduk kat Holland...patutlaa macam rusa masuk kampung, kan? Lost githoo!

So mak tanya lagi "Where in Holland are you from?"

Dia cakap "Holland...Holland"

Mak pun felik...ni macam tipu je dok Holland. Tak tahu pulak bandaraya kat Holland tu? Mak ingatkan dia nak kata dia asal Amsterdam kaaa.... Rotterdam kaaaa, kan? Ni idak..HOLLAND jugak jawapan dia...

Apa dia hengat Holland tu kecik macam bilik kecik belakang umah dia kat kampung kat Nigeria tu kah??? *ops!

Ni lah gamaknya suku sakat mamat tu! *ops!

Mak takdelah pulak nak soh dia clarify kan "Holland" tu kan..tapi mak terus cakap "In Holland, I have a few friends in Haarlem" Gittew..vangga kekdahnya ada kawan kawan ramai merata donia.

Mat gagak ni angguk je lah..ntah dia paham ntah idak Haarlem tu kat mana, kan??? Tu lah, kampung ceruk mana ntuh kat Nigeria nih?? Holland pulak katanya! Choiiiiii!!!!!

Anyway not long after that, there's another lady also waiting for the bus and all three of us got talking and she asked him where he's from.

Oh my God..I nearly fainted, uolzzz!!!

Mat gagak ni cakap "I was born in Nigeria but I live in LONDON!"

Whaaattt????? LONDON????? Kenapa mak dengar dia kata HOLLAND tadi????

Aiyoyoooooooooo malu nyer makkkk..... tak tahu mana nak sorok muka ni uolllssss...

Mak jugak lah yang badak..dahlah pekak...tayar kat perut bersepah sepah!!!! ***meraong!!! Ikut suka hati koranglah nak speku mak badak yang mana satu!

Pekak badak sungguh lah mak nih!!!

Tapi mak salahkan dia jugak; lain kali sebut perkataan omputih tu betul betul; jangan dok terikut ikut sangat accent kau!!! **ops!!!!

p/s Nanti lah mak cerita fasal perjalanan mak di Jerman termasuk berita gempar tentang anak kepada KB mak... mak hampir pitam!